Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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