She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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