"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
