Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize