Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize