Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
