no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
