i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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