I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
