He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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