After last night, I could never be a politician.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize