if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
