Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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