Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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