I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
