I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize