you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
