This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm gonna have a badass scar
are you so shy because you have an std?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
