Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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