yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
