There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize