He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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