i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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