i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
