I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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