People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
