For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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