yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
