found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
