I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
