How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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