Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
