just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
