Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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