i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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