this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
