Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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