Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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