whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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