This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
