You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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