do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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