So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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