haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
