Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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