You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
