So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
