This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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