just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
