Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Non-Jews are for practice
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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