I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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