The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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