i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
