I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
