i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
