i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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