Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
