Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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