I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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